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Friendorfoe

Boy oh boy. This is and will always be the life and death of us throughout our lives.

It’s human nature to either love somebody so much, or want to flat out kill them — Or I suppose you’re just mutual and don’t even care to think of a certain person.

Over the years, I have learned to just let people go. We all have different paths so I really don’t expect people to stay permanently. Things will go wrong, and if your friendship can’t withstand the stormy weather, you were either just meant to be in each other’s lives momentarily or you just need a break from each other. Friendships are like normal relationships! You need to find a balance between spending time together and spending time apart.

There are over 7 Billion people in this world. I’m 100% certain that you’re not going to get along with each and every person you meet.

Let’s take my 2 old best friends for instance. We just reconnected recently, and truthfully in my opinion … the long break we had was for the best. I’m not saying things are perfect now, but everyone has matured in their own ways and you just learn to move on from the past. It’s really nice to have friends you can go long periods without talking to and then all of a sudden come back together, and feel like you just picked up where you left off before shit hit the fan. Just yesterday, I went over to Mishael’s house and it was the first time we really “hung out” since we became friends again, and it was just like it was before … walked right into the house like I owned the place and did my homework in her room while she watched her crazy reality shows that I cannot stand … juuuuust like the old days!

I think that once you get to college, you learn to not care about the little issues that can easily be dismissed. Or if you’re like me .. if someone constantly brings trouble into my life, I’ll have that mentality of .. “Okay, I really don’t need this right now, so make sure you shut the door on your way out, thanks.” Now obviously, if this was a situation between a really goooooooood friend, I totally wouldn’t act like that. Unless things started to become really childish, then there really isn’t any hope left.

But like I said, people eventually learn to MOVE ON! That’s just how life works, so don’t dwell on what could have been .. instead, worry about what could be in your future.

thattimes

College Ditch Days

  • Yep, it’s about that time of the semester. You all know what I’m talking about, even you high schoolers! Those mornings where you just don’t want to get out of bed especially because everything around you is so cold except under the blankets!
  • I made sure not to bail out on any classes during the beginning and middle of the semester, because I knew this time would come towards the end :wink:
  • Don’t slack off on your homework! Especially towards the end of the semester — you’re so close, but yet still so far away from it being over!
  • I hate how some Professors stack up our workload one week and make it all due on the same day! I mean hello, we do have lives ya’ know! And your homework isn’t necessarily a piece of cake. — Props to the Professors who know how to evenly balance out the amount of work they give us!
  • After being at CSUF for 3 full years, I have learned to accept the fact that I completely suck at studying. I’ve attempted to read books about how to study efficiently and whatnot, but nothing ever clicks. So now, I make sure I pay extra attention in class so that most of the stuff sinks in before I leave the vicinity.
    • My mentality before was “Ohh, I don’t need to pay attention, I can just study the powerpoint later.” …. I knew damn well I wasn’t going to “study” later lol
    • The more I studied, the harder I failed. The less I stressed out, the better I would do.
      • That’s just me though, so don’t take my word that the same method will work for you! But I mean, if all else fails … it doesn’t hurt to try it out.
  • Feel like you’re not going to pass the class with the grade you want? — Don’t hesitate to talk to your professors about it! They’re there to help … even if some of them put on a show like they couldn’t give a rat’s you know what.
    • Oh, and make sure you don’t wait till the last minute to “talk” about your grades. Cause now they know you’re just shitting bricks and are completely desperate — and all you had to do was ask for help throughout the entire semester.
    • I’m not saying suck up to the teacher, but go out of your way to conversate with them. They’re normal people too ya’ know.
  • You earn your grade, the teacher doesn’t give it to you. — Whether it be a good grade or a bad one.

Thanksgiving

  • Don’t spend it alone! If you have nowhere else to go, you’re welcome to spend it with me and my family! :smile:
  • This is the time to make up with your family if you haven’t already! — This holiday has saved my relationship with my mom once before
  • I love Thanksgiving =) All year long, I spend time with my Dad’s side of the family, but once this day comes, it’s all about my Mom’s side. Grandma and Grandpa come down to visit and you know what we do?! We GRUB!!!
  • My little cousins haven’t grasped the concept about why it’s so important for me to spend it with my other grandparents so I don’t know how else to explain it except by saying “I have to.”
    • We have a couple families on my Dad’s side who are going to Vegas together, and my little cousins  don’t understand why I can’t just go with them this time lol
    • They will learn one day when they get older, and start to cherish the relationships with people they aren’t able to see all the time.
  • Picking and choosing who to spend the holidays with isn’t that hard especially for me, because I have such a huge loving family overall, so wherever I choose to go feels like home no matter what.
    • I know that not everybody out there has a family to spend their holidays with and that is a tragedy, but this is exactly what I’m truly thankful for. Being able to feel like I’m at home, even when I’m not really at home.

Christmas

  • START SHOPPING NOW!!!!!
    • I think I started last month, and boy does it feel good to knock out a list full of people long before the holidays.
      • No stress, no hassles, no rip-offs
    • Even though you get “Good Deals” during the holiday season … more than half the stores you go to will bump up their original retail prices and knock off a huge chunk just so it seems like you discovered the best deal on the block.
      • Don’t fall for it!
    • It’ll make your life so much easier if you get it out of the way now
      • You won’t have to shop with hawk eyes — there’s nothing worst than feeling rushed when you’re shopping
      • You won’t have to waste gas trying to fight your way through a parking lot for that one spot.
        • Oh and less chances of your car getting keyed if you steal someone else’s spot! — Thankfully, I have only heard stories about this … so no personal experiences!
      • All the money you saved up? Yeah, it won’t disappear all at once if you shop moderately AND EARLY.

Basketball Season

  • Ahh, high school basketball. My all time favorite!
  • You know once time changes, it’s only setting the mood for the season to be jolly 
  • Layer up those coats and sweaters and get your butt to a basketball game!
  • I don’t know if it’s just me, but nachos always taste so much better from the snackbar.
  • Cheer your heart out and support your local team!
  • There’s nothing better than seeing a huge gym full of optimistic people in the crowd!

 

Personally, I feel like once the new year comes, all I do is wait for summer of course, but after that .. it’s all about the holidays! There’s just something special about these last two and a half months. We have Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, AND New Years! I wish there were more big holidays where families and friends can come together without having to worry about work and school — 4th of July is probably the closest thing to it. But hey, make the most out of these last couple of months, because you know once the new year comes around … Everyone is going to have new goals and their New Year’s Resolution of course. Gym rats, prepare for total domination by the New Year’s pack that will soon be invading your space.

5 lessons

1. You can’t always expect others to be there for you whenever you need them.

  • Before depending on others, you have to learn to depend on yourself.
  • Everyone has their own lives to live and if you’re lucky, you’ll have that one person you can always turn to.
  • Not everyone has that one person, so if and once you ever find him or her, cherish what you have … FOREVER!

2. Always keep your Family at the top of your priorities.

  • This may sound so cliche but seriously, when you feel like there’s no one else to run to, family will always be there — no matter what.
  • Never take advantage of them, but do remember that they are also valuable resources — strike up a conversation and learn something new!
  • They will always look out for your best interests, so next time you shoot down one of their ideas, remember that they’re the ones who have seen you through just about everything and they know exactly who you are, inside and out
  • Throughout your life, you’re bound to bump heads with someone in your family, but you know what’s so great about that … it sure gives you guys one heck of a story to tell at future get togethers and trust me, you will never hear the end of it from your relatives — I know this from experience!
  • You will never find a bond as strong as the ones you were born with — Growing up as an only child, I have yet to find anything more special than the ties I have with all of my cousins and elders.

3. Surround yourself with those who have positive vibes and attitudes

  • Drop the dead weight, that’s literally all you have to do — the second you eliminate the things and people who just bring you down, the happier you will be.
  • It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known a person — people change, situations change, things change — that doesn’t mean you have to keep them around.
  • The more enthusiastic your friends are, the more motivated you will feel to do just about anything and everything in life — Luck is spelled W-O-R-K , and you won’t be receiving a whole lot of luck if you’d rather kick back with your friends who aren’t getting much done.
  • Put a smile on, because you never know who’s going to fall for it — This is also such a cliche, but I’ve had so many interesting and unexpected conversations with strangers who eventually become great mentors in my life … and it all started with just one smile!
  • I know life isn’t all rainbows and butterflies so there are definitely going to be days where you just want to do a whole lot of nothing. So just do it, but don’t make it a habit — keep your life balanced by staying busy and giving yourself a break every now and then — you deserve it.

4. If you want something, you have to go out and get it

  • Nothing in life is gift-wrapped and handed to you — At least that’s what my coach used to say
  • Make lists and jot down goals — check things off as you go — And if you’re like me, you’ll think of it as a race to the finish line … I try to make a huge list everyday just so I can see that entire list checked off at the end of the day
  • Ever find yourself saying “Ohhh, I want to do this! and this … and this … and so on & so forth.” Yeah, that’s how I used to be but the one thing I’ve changed is that, instead of saying I want to do all of these things, I actually set up a gameplan and I go out there and put it into action. — The biggest struggle is always starting something — Find a rewarding reason to do it, add in a couple checkpoints and guidelines, and you can accomplish anything your little heart desires.

5. Don’t forget to give thanks and show appreciation

  • I cannot stress this enough! When I was younger (and didn’t know better), I used to chuckle when my mom would tell me to write a thank you note for people, not because I didn’t want to, but because I was trapped in this digital realm of thinking I could just create a template, make it look nice and send it to the person with the words thank you on it. I cannot explain how happy I get inside when I receive letters or handwritten cards from people — so now, as a small gesture of kindness, that is how I show my appreciation to people.
  • Whether someone is helping you with your homework or even just going along for a drive to the store, thank them! You could’ve easily been left to go alone, but they wanted to keep you company, and they wanted to help you out — or they could’ve just been bored and had nothing else to do, but hey! It’s the thought that counts =)
  • A friend or relative invites you over for dinner? The least you could do is bring some dessert, or lend a helping hand with the cooking or even wash the dishes after! Small stuff like this will show that you are thankful for being invited over. — I have my mom to thank for this one.
  • That homeless man you see on the streets, did he make you think about all the good things and people you have in your life? Even if it’s random things like this, it never hurts to tell someone out of the blue, how much you’re glad to have them in your life. — One word can easily make a person’s day.

bad call

How many times have you heard that line? Gosh, a thousand fingers couldn’t add up the amount of times I’ve heard people yell that to a Referee during a game.  I, for one, am definitely guilty of it and I know a whole bunch of you guys are too.

Let’s start with why I’m picking at this topic. My side goal in life is to try out every aspect that deals with basketball. This includes playing, coaching, reffing, scorekeeping, photographing, and managing. So far I have gotten through everything except for the managing part. It’s crazy how different people treat and view you depending on what role you’re playing.

Just as a Player, I didn’t really notice how every little thing you say or do on the court is clearly seen by every person in the gym. From picking out wedgies to giving a little tug on your opponent’s jersey. Even though there is so much going on during a game, players are always going to be the center of attention … and with that in mind, don’t do something you would shake your head at it if you saw someone else doing it. Now, I know there are times where you just can’t help but want to tackle another player on the court, if you’re going to do this … please do it responsibly. I’m totally kidding lol. Personal problems should never be brought onto the court, because that’s when things start to get ugly. Whether it be with your teammates or with players from the other team. Yes, you would be putting on a show, but people come to watch you play … not to watch you rumble. There’s nothing more embarrassing than seeing a team who can’t get along on the court. How do you expect to win together and have a good time on the court, when you can’t even stand being within three feet of each other. Like I was taught back in high school, keep your personal problems off the court. And if you can’t do that, then continue to make a fool out of yourself elsewhere.

Being a Coach isn’t always easy. They may seem all laid back, but of all the roles in basketball, this is the most important one of all. What good is a team, without a leader providing structure. Coaches are obviously the authority figure, but I’ve seen a handful of coaches who abuse their power. Personally, I can’t stand coaches who yell just to yell. Why step on people’s toes and treat them like their five years old, when you can simply talk to them like a normal human being. If you’re constantly yelling at a player to do the same thing over and over again, and they’re obviously not getting a clue … What makes you think yelling at them even more is going to help them grasp the concept. Just talk to them and help them understand, instead of raising your voice and bashing on them.  — Now on the other hand, I also understand that there are just situations where you have no choice but to yell at a player. These are the coaches who yell for a purpose, and I will always respect them. Let’s take my old coach for example. This woman, oh man, you know she’s not joking around so the second you step out of line, you’ll most likely catch it yourself and attempt to fix it before she has to step in. You see, this is great coaching. Why? Because she has already taught you the correct way of doing something and by being able to recognize your own mistakes, you know it’s all up to you to apply what you learned in order to fix it. And as a player, if you just straight up don’t understand what the heck you’re supposed to be doing, that’s when it’s your responsibility to speak up and ask for help. I’ve had experiences with previous teammates who never really spoke up, and what ended up happening? They would constantly make the same mistakes over and over again. And it’s not because they weren’t good at basketball, it’s just because they were never really taught how to do a specific thing the correct way. What you put in, is what you get out.

Life of a Scorekeeper is a breeze … until you get those few Nazis who decide to jump all over your back. Humans and machines aren’t built for perfection, so when you combine the two, there are going to be mistakes here and there! Every now and then, I’ll get a bench full of angry moms staring me down from across the court, because the computer would lag a bit to add their points. OR, you’ll just hear them yell out TWO POINTS! TWO POINTS! and all you see are their fingers frantically pointing at the scoreboard. Come on now, if you were paying attention to that amazing play, don’t you think I was too? Jokes on you because I changed the score before you were even able to look up! (In order to decrease my mama drama, I started to purposely wait to add points so that they can clearly see the numbers change right before their eyes) Now I’m not saying I never make mistakes, because trust me … there hasn’t been a game where I have perfectly scorekept — usually because someone was blocking my view of a made shot, or a referee’s hand signals aren’t up to par, or the computer likes to add five thousand points when I click +2, or I’m just caught up in the action and I forget to jot down who scored what.

Onto Refereeing, ahhh … this has probably been my most nerve-wrecking role ever, but only because I have never done it before! I recently started, and it has opened my eyes to so much! I see things I never paid attention to before as a player, a coach, and a scorekeeper. Referees are the face of the game. They control the pace and the outcome. They’re the ones who usually get the bad end of the stick, because you obviously can’t satisfy both teams since only one is bound to win. As a ref, I have been taught that yeah, I’m gonna blow some calls, but that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. The number one thing my trainers have taught me is to stay firm with my call whether I know I’m right or wrong. How many times have you taken a ref seriously after seeing that they can’t even make up their own mind on a call. Never right? Respect and confidence are the two things referees need to make sure they have or else they’re gonna find themselves being walked all over by the crowd, the players, and the coaches. Oh and one thing everybody should keep in mind is that .. It’s not always the ref’s fault ;-)

Of all these different positions, I have learned the most from refereeing. Not because of reffing itself, but from talking to all of the other refs. These are by far, the most complex and caring people I have ever met in my life. As a player, I was always against them. But now, after being on almost every side there is to basketball, they have taught me so many life lessons especially on how to become successful. It’s true ya’ know, the saying … “It’s not about what you know, it’s about who you know.” I am where I am today, because of all of the amazing people who have ever helped me both directly and indirectly. Yes, knowing things will also get you far, but when you have both the resources and the knowledge — there is no limit.

TOMORROWSTARTSTODAYs

Well, for starters, I’m that one person who might not know the answer to your question, but I will however have an answer to the questions that you never thought of asking before. I can tell you things that range from how a cow can walk up the stairs, but can’t walk down … to how grocery stores and other shops such as Target, like to put the things you want and need most deep inside … that way, you have no choice but to walk by all the other things you didn’t think you “needed” before you made your list of things to get.

Aside from those random knowings, putting things into words that people can relate to, gives me peace of mind. There are so many people out there who bottle up all their thoughts, and you can just tell that they’re ready to explode at any given moment. Half the time, it’s not that people don’t like to express their feelings — it’s because they don’t know how to, especially without upsetting others around them. Once they see that someone else was able to put their thoughts into words that make sense, it’s like “Oh my gosh! This! Right here!” and that’s about all you’re going to get out of them, because it’s like a huge sigh of relief and excitement — almost like when you can’t think of a certain name or word even though it’s at the tip of your tongue, and once you figure it out, it’s as if you won the lotto.

I’m not here to judge people or pretend to be a know-it-all. I’m doing this for myself and for others who can simply agree or disagree with how I reflect upon life and certain situations that are thrown at each and every one of us. I’m the type of person who can sit on a computer all day and just bookmark and screenshot every little thing that captures my attention. Now, what good is a bookmark and awesome findings when I can’t share it with the world!

 

Danielle Lam, 21